Operation: Ensure L Evans on date with J Potter
by redredreglasses
Summary: Ideas for operation:  Write mysterious note full of romantic poetry – “THERE IS NO WAY I’M WRITING POETRY, ALICE!”  In which lovesick Lily stresses, becomes a laughing stock and fails writing romantic poetry to a particular marauder… LJ LONG ONESHOT


**Operation: Ensure L. Evans on date with J. Potter**

**Summary:**

_Successful Outcome: To see Miss Evans on date with Mr Potter.__ Ideas: Write mysterious note full of romantic poetry – _"THERE IS NO WAY THAT I'M WRITING POETRY, ALICE!" In which lovesick Lily stresses, becomes a laughing stock and fails at writing sappy romantic poetry to one particular marauder… LJ LONG ONESHOT

WARNING:

There is a HINT at a spoiler for HP7 in here somewhere.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything related to Harry Potter.

_I always thought that the Hogwarts House System was overrated. Now, in my final year at school, I have officially decided that I have always been correct._

_The house system is full of over-generalisations, misconceptions and incorrect judging upon ones character. For example, if I told you that someone was a Ravenclaw, you would think clever; a Slytherin – sly, pureblood and up to their necks in the Dark Art; a Gryffindor – brave, proud and loyal; a Hufflepuff – not clever enough to be a Ravenclaw, not particularly brave and proud enough to be a Gryffindor yet not an ambitious power hungry Slytherin but nice enough and hard working enough to have a house of their own._

_Does that mean though that a Ravenclaw can not be sly or loyal? That a Gryffindor can not be ambitious or clever? That a Slytherin can not be a genuinely good person? Or that a Hufflepuff __can not be a mixture of all of those qualities?_

_Hmmm… bravery… supposedly one of my traits because I was sorted into Gryffindor. I'm definitely stubborn and I guess that goes hand-in-hand with being proud and sure, I'm loyal._

_But bravery? Courageousness?_

_I think that hat was a little delusional back in my first year._

- - - - - - - -

Alice rolls her eyes in exasperation.

"Ok, Lily, let's skip the denying and arrive at the part where you admit to me that you fancy the sexy snitch-covered boxers off our darling James Potter."

"I do not fancy the _sexy snitch-covered _–"

"It's beside the point." She smirks before adding, "and anyway, you know it's true!"

I don't bother answering and instead send her a glare.

"Lily, how many years have we been best friends? I'm immune to your glares. Now, you are going to admit right now that you like James Potter –"

"– I do not –"

"– and admit that if he asked you out right now, you would say yes."

"BUT I DON'T –"

"Lily." It takes one work, two raised eye brows and a knowing smile from Alice and I find myself spilling the beans.

"Well… I guess I'd _consider_ it…"

She continues raising her eyebrows.

"Alright, alright. I guess I'd be praying that he swept me off my feet and kissed me right then and there."

I almost kick myself for admitting that but then decide that at least now I have one more head to help me decide how on earth I'm supposed to talk to him.

Alice squeals and gives me a hug which I retort to by calming her down due to us being in the library and me being well aware of the possibility of being overheard. Ten seconds later, it's back to business with Alice sitting straight in her chair, holding a quill in her hand and poising over a piece of parchment bound into her sparkly green notebook.

She begins to write:

**Operation: Ensure Lily Evans on ****a date with James Potter**

**Priority:**

**Extremely high**

**Members involved in completing operation:**

**Evans, Lily Louise**

**McKinstar, Alice Anne**

**Successful Operation Outcome: **

**To see Miss Lily Evans on a date with Mr James Potter.**

**Brainstorming ideas for successful completion of operation:**

**Ask him straight out.**

**Snog him senseless.**

**Write him a mysterious note full of romantic poetry - **

I stop her there. There is no way in hell that I'm writing poetry.

"Alice! Don't _write_ it down!!! Someone could find it!!!"

Alice gives me a skeptical look.

"Alice, please? I've admitted I like him so please compromise and listen. No writing."

She frowns but then rolls her eyes and places the quill down on the table.

"So, Miss Lily, how are we going to go about getting you this date?"

"Uh… Oh, I don't know what to do! He doesn't even like me anymore!"

My head drops into my arms in defeat.

"You have got to be kidding me. You don't think he likes you anymore? He's crazy about you!"

"He hasn't asked me out in over a year now. He barely even looks at me!"

"Maybe, he's trying another plan to get you to like him."

"Like what?" I scoff, "Ignore me and I'll fall into his arms? Pft."

"Well, if that's the plan, it seems to have worked."

I don't reply.

"Anyway, trust me, he likes you. Now, what are you going to do about this more than a crush feeling? We have to make a plan."

I pick my head up and bang it down on the table and shrug.

"Lily, look at me."

I lift my head and glumly stare at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Have you dropped any hints around him to encourage him to ask you out? Because –"

I notice four figures walking through the library entrance.

"Alice, quick, shut up!"

I quickly yank her notebook and flip through pages in order to look busy.

"Lily, why –?"

"James and crew," I hiss before retreating to pretend skim reading over the Defense Against the Dark Arts notes scribbled in the notebook. I glance over the top of the page to see where James is. He walks closer to our table but doesn't seem to realize that Alice and I are there. I sink lower into my chair.

"Say hi," Alice mouths.

I shake my head slightly. There is no way that I'm approaching him; he has to approach me!

Alice glares. "Say hi!" she mouths once more.

"No," I mouth back.

I look back towards James. Remus, Sirius and Peter exit the library but James continues to walk in our direction. He walks straight past our table towards the transfiguration section. After spending a few minutes looking at titles, he selects a book and walks back our way.

"SAY HI!" Alice mouths as though she is yelling at me.

I tell myself not to but as he walks past, I find myself smiling and blurting out brightly, "Hi Potter!"

He turns back in surprise and walks into a table leg.

I cringe. "I'm so sorry. Sorry."

He nods a 'don't worry' and says, "Bye Evans, bye Alice" before retreating to the circulation desk to borrow the book.

Twenty seconds later, he exits the library, the transfiguration book tucked under his arm.

My head bangs down onto the desk once more before raising and staring miserably at Alice.

"See, Alice? He's barely talking to me! How am I supposed to drop a hint so that he'll ask me out?"

"He just doesn't know that you like him!" She pauses before asking in a quieter tone, "You do realize that you called him 'Potter'?"

"But I always call him Potter. And except for the past year, he's always called me Lily. Now he's gone to Evans…"

"Lily, you can't call you nearly-soon-to-be-boyfriend by his last name!!!"

"Oh."

I never thought of that before. I've always called James Potter 'Potter' to his face though.

I glance at the clock, mutter a curse and begin packing up my books

"Sorry, Alice. Arithmancy calls. I'll talk to you after class."

She waves and smirks. "We'll have formulated a plan by the end of the night, ok?"

I hesitate at her extremely enthusiastic smile: I know as well as she does that the 'we' in that sentence was a definite cover for the 'I' that she wanted to use.

- - - - - - - -

_When I was younger, I use to love reading the fairytales of princesses that were rescued by brave princes that defeated hideously powerful creatures before rescuing said princess from a tower hundreds of feet above the ground._

_My favourite, 'Sleeping Beauty', featured the beautiful princess Aurora who spent the story singing in a number of gorgeous coloured dresses before pricking her finger on a needle and falling into a deep sleep that could only be awaken by 'true love's first kiss.' This kiss came from the handsomely charming prince who was very brave and defeated a dragon and a witch before saving her from a never-ending slumber._

_The princes in any of these fairytale stories always seemed to have the same characteristics: handsome, charming, rich, brave; every girl's dream guy._

_It really wasn't until Petunia started believing that she had fallen in love with her horrible boyfriend Vernon Dursley that I was snapped back into reality: fairytales were imaginary. _

_Girls don't just prick their finger or eat an apple and fall into a sleep that can be cured by a kiss. _

_Girls don't have magical godmothers who appear just at the right time to cre__ate gorgeous, expensive clothing and a magical get-a-way coach. _

_And there isn't a prince at every beginning of a story that's ready to die for you by the time the ending rolls around. _

_But a girl can dream._

- - - - - - - -

I spend most of arithmancy admiring the back of James Potter's messy hair. He just happens to be sitting directly in front of me and in my line of view of the professor so I have an excuse if someone catches me. He's listening to the professor but it is last class for the day and is just as restless as I am.

The problem about pre-reading the text twice is that I seem to remember it all the first time I read it. Arithmancy is just listening to the professor repeat what I've already read twice. Boring. Particularly on a Friday afternoon.

My fingers loosen their grip upon my quill and the quill falls to the desk.

I find my mind traveling back to a particular section of the list that Alice started…

**Brainstorming ideas for successful completion of operation:**

**Ask him straight out.**

Ask him straight out??

Alice had to be joking when she wrote that. Does she actually think that I could ask a guy out? That would mean plucking up the courage to talk to him and say something other than "Hi Potter"… Who is she kidding? I barely have the courage to admit to my _best friend_ that I like the guy a little more than a friend.

And she thinks I'm going to ask said guy out?

**Snog him senseless.**

Once again, um, _me_ snog a guy without him initiating it? On impulse? Whilst believing that he doesn't even like me? Nuh-uh.

There is that whole issue with the bravery thing that keeps cropping up. I really think that I was sorted into the wrong house…

**Write him a mysterious note full of romantic poetry**

Well, although I am not really a huge fan of gushy poetry, perhaps this idea is a little more realistic than the other two…

But what does one write on a mysterious, anonymous love note? And poetry?

I had secretly sworn to myself years ago that I would never sink so low as to write trashy romantic poetry.

But the quill seems to have returned to my hand and the end is quivering over my parchment.

I guess it doesn't hurt to try…

But how does one go about trashy writing romantic poetry?

Is the following appropriate to write upon one of these notes?

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_Would you go out with me_

_As I think I love you?_

May I comment upon that very original four lined piece of rubbish?

Or how about this little poem demonstrating the finesse of the use of clever rhyme?

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_I used to say that you smelt like poo,_

_Now I actually love you._

I think not.

Poetry can't be that hard to write. Surely if I just think really hard and brainstorm I'll be able to write something that doesn't sound half bad.

How about something with a little bit more rhythm?

_There once was a girl with a mystery name_

_Who once hated a boy, his name was James,_

_He once was very arrogant and rude_

_And would transform said girl into a very bad mood._

_But as the boy grew older and__ matured quite a lot_

_The girl began to like him and began to plot_

_She knew she shouldn't like him as she had never liked him back_

_But now she found herself falling for him off a very highly built stack._

_After y__ears of James asking her out every single day_

_Never once had she agreed so he never got his way_

_The proud stubborn girl has waited this long __just to admit_

_She always has been a truly humongous hypocrite._

_And now she finds herself failing to write_

_To think, to see, to hear even the slight_

_Every class she finds her attention wailing_

_Because her heart always seem to be sailing_

_It drops, it flys, it shoots off into space_

_But years ago, she already condemned her case,_

_There is no chance for her to tell him what she does see _

_He doesn't love her back;__ although she wished there was a her and he._

I find myself staring in disbelief at the parchment with these words scrawled hastily upon. It's one of the worst things I've ever written. My heart _dropping, flying and shooting off into space? _Cringe. I blame artistic license.

But, miraculously, pathetic and horrible as it may be, the poem does actually contain the truth.

A drop lands next to the last full stop. My hand rises up to touch my cheek. I can't believe it: I'm starting to cry over a piece of shockingly written poetry.

My eyes cloud up and I hastily start rubbing with my sleeve to free them of tears. They keep coming though. I tell myself to get a grip but once you've started crying there isn't much that you can do to stop.

I jump a mile in the air when a hand touches my shoulder comfortingly. I glance up and freeze when I see that James Potter has reversed his chair so that he is facing me and can reach my shoulder. I remember that I am in class. And that I am in class _crying_.

_Damn_

I can feel the eyes of the entire class watching me as I begin to mop my face with my sleeve.

"I'm sorry, Miss Evans, is there a problem?"

I force myself to smile at the professor although I can feel myself grimacing instead.

"Oh, no, Professor, not at all. I'm terribly sorry to interrupt," I reply, my voice slightly higher than normal and, I'm ashamed to say, shaking a little. I then realize that the best chance of having this all blow over is to vacate the classroom as soon as possible. "Sorry, professor, I've got something in my eye. Would you mind if I left class early?"

Anyone can see through that lie but the Professor decides to be nice for once and nods in my direction.

I make a grab for my belongings and pile up the parchment of poetry and shove it into the front of my arithmancy text book. I pick up my quill and see that James is still facing me rather than the front of the classroom.

"Evans," he murmurs softly, "are you alright?"

"Fine," I mutter back and bow my head in embarrassment. James Potter has just witnessed me crying and probably thinks it's over something serious such as a letter of a Death Eater Attack. I can't imagine what he'd say if he discovered that it was actually because of him.

"Evans," he whispers with more urgency. I raise my head slightly at his tone but still refuse to look at him. "You're still crying. What's wrong? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"It was just something silly," I shake my head slightly. "It's all fine now though."

I can feel him looking at me in hesitation as he decides what to say.

"Lily – "

I jerk my head up at the sound of 'Lily'.

"– Miss Evans, are you planning on leaving this class now or when the class is finished? If there's something that you want to say to Mr. Potter, please do so after my class and allow Mr. Potter to continue concentrating upon his school work."

I stare at James for a second before realizing the attention that I am drawing to myself. I nod to the Professor and, with my books in my arms, walk straight out of the room, not once looking back at James. I can feel his eyes upon me throughout the entire walk to the door.

- - - - - - - -

_I can remember back all throughout my life at school as I've defended friends who have needed help. Emma once went so far as to call me brave. I had stood up and defended Severus Snape against a group of four powerfully popular boys; had confronted a Slytherin 7__th__ year after Mary McDonald had returned to the common room crying about her muggle heritage._

_This is not bravery or cou__rageousness. It is simply searching for justice in situations and doing the right thing._

_It's not being brave or taking a risk._

_Because, surely, the guilt would have eaten away at me if I hadn't have done those things._

- - - - - - - -

It takes me twenty-five minutes of deep breathing and mental mind games in the girls' bathroom to permanently stop crying. It takes another fifteen to repair the damage the tears have done to my face.

Twenty minutes later, I find that I have walked myself to the Great Hall where dinner is just about to start. Finding Alice half way along the Gryffindor table, I walk over and sit down whilst mentally preparing myself for questioning.

"Hi, Lily!"

"I'm starving," I grumble in reply to Alice's overly-bright greeting.

"Hmmm… something's not quite right… so, are you going to tell me what horrible event happened through Arithmancy?"

I hate having an overly-perceptive best friend.

It also doesn't help having a best friend who has a much-too close relationship with her boyfriend who just happens to be in my arithmancy class.

"Oh, nothing much."

She raises her eyebrows.

I also hate having a best friend who is not in the least bit gullible.

James enters the Great Hall at this moment and after his eyes spend a few seconds searching the room, they rest on me. I swallow and quickly avoid eye contact by looking at my plate.

"It looks like James is coming over here."

I can't speak so manage a gargled noise to show that I've heard her.

"Lily, he looks a bit worried. You didn't say something stupid, did you?"

_Say _something stupid? No, I just burst into tears in the middle of Arithmancy for no apparent reason. I'm sure it happens all the time.

Before I need to think of a decent reply, I hear a "How's it going, Evans?" from over my left shoulder.

I blanch and, with immensely huge butterflies ricocheting off the walls of my stomach, I feel the sudden desire to throw up. To stall for time, I grab Alice's goblet of pumpkin juice and take a few sips, cringing slightly as the disgusting tasting liquid reaches my mouth.

A new goblet is held in front of my face.

"Take this one: fresh orange juice. I asked the house elves to prepare some. To be quite honest, I haven't got a clue how anyone could not like pumpkin juice."

I instantly slam the revolting pumpkin juice goblet down and hesitate at taking the juice that James is offering.

"Don't worry, I've made sure to put the strongest poisons I can find in it," he comments with a solemn face.

Rolling my eyes and giving into the temptation, I take the goblet and down the juice, sighing in delight. I haven't had orange juice since the summer holidays. I don't even know how James could possibly know of my slight obsession with the drink that I am normally deprived of during the school term.

I smile and, still stalling for time, say, "Thanks, James. You would not believe how much I love orange juice."

His eyes widen slightly before a small grin appears on his face.

Alice starts to choke on her piece of potato. She quickly sips her pumpkin juice.

And then I realize that I've called him 'James' to his face for the first time in my life.

"Uh…" I attempt to fill in an uncomfortable silence. "So… uh… um… how are you?"

James's eyes widen once more.

Alice returns to coughing loudly.

And I realize that I'm trying to make polite conversation with James Potter.

"Not so bad, although I've spent the past hour trying to convince Sirius not to hex all of Remus's text books to sing songs whenever anyone comes within a ten meter radius of them. Sirius has the worst taste in music." He pauses and shakes his head in disgust before adding, "How are you going?"

"Oh, fine thank you."

The uncomfortable silence has returned and I feel myself longing for it to be broken.

"So, um, James, was there anything that you wanted?"

James jumps slightly.

"Oh, right. I was just seeing how you were after arithmancy. I know you said that you were fine but I just thought that I'd double check to see that you were sure that nothing was bothering you."

I feel myself blush in embarrassment but feel my heart pounding and my legs transforming into jelly. Thankfully, I'm sitting down and not standing up or else I probably would have collapsed onto the floor. Guys aren't meant to have this effect on me, particularly James of all people. How do you keep up a façade of minimal like for a guy when in actual fact if he so much as glances in your direction, your insides completely melts, you lose all common sense and begin to stare at him and feel yourself blushing?

Out of the corner of my eye, I see that Alice is looking between the two of us, obviously trying to fill in the gaps.

"Thanks for checking but I really am fine. Just one of those days, you know what I mean?"

He nods but his smile does not quite cover his still existing concern.

"Honestly, I'm fine."

"Alright Lily, but look after yourself."

I bite my lip hard to stop myself from smiling at his thoughtfulness.

"Anyway, it looks like Peter is hassling Remus again for reading at the table. I had better go before Remus retaliates. Talk to you later. See you, Lily."

"See you later, James."

I find myself smiling at his back when he turns away.

He turns back abruptly and I quickly cover up my uncontrollable smile with a hand.

"I'm so sorry Alice! I didn't say goodbye to you!"

Alice waves her hand.

"Don't worry about it. You're completely forgiven. That has got to be one of the cutest scenes I've seen in ages!"

I feel my cheeks redden to an even darker shade.

James pretends that he didn't hear the last sentence that Alice said and waves before returning to the other end of the Gryffindor table to Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

Alice waits until he is out of earshot before squealing softly and giving me a one armed hug, much to my dismay. She then straightens and declares, "Lily. Library. Now."

I pout as I realize that there is going to be very little chance of me getting out of answering a dozen questions.

"Aw, but Alice, I haven't finished eating!"

Alice rolls her eyes. "Well that will give you inspiration to convince James Potter to take you for a date to the kitchens later tonight, won't it?"

I glare at her before shoveling a few more mouthfuls of lasagna into my mouth.

"Come on, let's go," Alice demands, dragging me up to a standing position. "Tonight we are finalizing plans for operation: ensure Lily Evans on a date with James Potter."

I sigh but oblige and follow her to the door.

- - - - - - - -

_Fifth year seemed to be The Year. It was the turning point for nearly everything in my life._

_I passed all my O.W.L.S with Os which shut the pure bloods up for a while – approximately 10 seconds._

_Severus Snape and I officially went our own separate ways._

_Alice and I became even closer as best friends._

_Petunia celebrated her one year anniversary of going out with Vernon Dursley._

_It was the last time I ever really yelled at James Potter who miraculously changed between fifth and sixth year._

_And I had my first boyfriend._

_This relationship managed to last about a month before I realized how boring it was to go out with someone like him. He was nice, handsome and loved to study and read but he was always so serious. He never once joked around or teased me. It was nice but the relationship had no… it had no… for want of a better word, "pop". We never argued. He always agreed with me on everything and never seemed to have an opinion of his own._

_I don't know; I guess the relationship was just boring._

- - - - - - - -

Alice has her eyes glued to my face. Her mouth is taut and she is chewing her bottom lip.

Her leaping, sparkling eyes tell all.

I can not believe that I succumbed and told her everything…

"Do not laugh, Alice or it will be the last thing you do!"

The corners of Alice's mouth quirk.

I glare hard.

Three seconds later, the smirk appears.

Ten seconds after that, the girl is almost in hysterics.

"Alice! Shut up!" I hiss.

She continues laughing and comments between breaths.

"I can not _believe_ that you burst into tears over _your own_ love poetry!"

"Alice! Shut up!"

"And I can't believe you _wrote_ these!"

She's pointing at the parchment with the horrible poetry written upon it.

"I told you: I was bored!"

She continues her laughing.

Unfortunately, Alice is one of those people who when they laugh, they laugh really, really loudly.

And, yes, we were in a library.

"Merlin Lily! _I_ could write better poetry than you and you're the better student!"

"ALICE!! Shut up! Someone is going to hear!"

She completely disregards my retort and continues exclaiming in a loud tone for the entire world to hear.

"_There once was a girl with a mystery name…"_

Oh no, she is not quoting from it…

And she better not end the next line…

"_Who once hated a boy, his name was J –"_

"LOOK! IT WAS A DISTRACTION FROM STARING AT HIM, OK? SO SHUT UP AND STOP _BLOODY_ LAUGHING!"

My screaming at the top of my lungs sends her into a sudden shock and she finally shuts up.

"MISS EVANS, IS THAT YOU YELLING FROM THAT CORNER?"

Oh, Merlin…

I send Alice a cowering look before the librarian storms across the library to stand right in front of our table.

"YOU ARE HEAD GIRL, MISS EVANS, AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT SCREAMING AND SWEARING IN MY LIBRARY! NOW, I'M GOING TO ISSUE YOU A DETENTIO –"

"LILY! There you are; we have a prefects meeting now!"

I look over to my left where I see Remus Lupin and thank Merlin for his timing: there is no prefect meeting scheduled.

"Sorry, I forgot! I'm coming now, Remus."

I jump up from my seat and run out of the library, Remus following behind me.

We run down the corridor before returning to a normal walking pace.

"Thanks, I almost got a detention." I pause before adding, "please tell me that I did not just scream in a library."

Remus is smiling now. "Oh yes, for basically the entire third floor to hear. You were even louder than Alice who could only be heard clearly throughout the library."

I freeze. "_Only_ heard throughout the library? You could hear her _clearly_ in the library? Everything she said?"

I start swearing under my breath before I realize something.

"You were in there alone, weren't you, Remus?"

His smile turns to a broad grin.

"No, I was not in there with _James_, Lily. James is upstairs in the common room, safely on the seventh floor and away from the third."

I flash him an innocent, questioning look.

"Why would I care where James is?"

Remus snorts and rolls his eyes.

"You wrote _poetry_ about him? Merlin, James realized how bad he was at writing romantic poetry back in fifth year after Sirius discovered his extensive list of adjectives, metaphors and similes relating to green eyes."

"Green eyes? What, he liked a girl with green eyes?" Even if it was back in fifth year, I find myself becoming slightly jealous. "Besides, I haven't written anything about him. And I definitely haven't been desperate enough to write romantic poetry about him. To write romantic poetry about someone, you usually have to like them."

Remus smiles knowingly.

"Lily, I actually do have more than a tiny bit of common sense compared to your lack of subtlety. Even if you hadn't yelled that you'd been staring at him, I've been noticing it for the past month or two and it's probably been going on longer than that. James is just too oblivious to notice. He still thinks you can't stand him."

He's got me with the staring and I can't deny it.

"Oh thank Merlin that James hasn't realized. How embarrassing if he had…"

Remus frowns. "Lily, deny it all you want, but I know that you'd love to go out with him. The problem is that he has no idea that you like him and is not going to risk the rejection again by asking you out. It's all up to you."

"Oh."

My stare turns into a pleading look.

"Can't you just persuade him to ask me out again?"

Remus gives a small smile but then replies, "No."

I furrow my eyebrows.

"Why not?"

"Because firstly he won't ask you out because he's petrified of returning back to your screaming relationship of fifth year and you referring to him by his last name. And secondly, if he did ask you out and you agree, he'll think that you pity him and that you're not taking it seriously."

I don't drop the pleading look.

"It has to be you, Lily. You have to make the first move."

Realising that Remus is never going to cave, I swear under my breath.

"Anyway, I've got an essay to write so I'll talk to you later Lily."

He turns away and begins to walk down the corridor.

"Remus, wait," I call. He turns back to face me. "How do I even know if he likes me back? Was he even serious when he used to ask me out last year? How do I know that it wasn't just a game?"

"Lily, you're as oblivious as James is –"

"What wasn't a game?"

"Sirius?" I mentally freak out as I see James's best friend walking towards Remus. "What are you doing here?"

"Saying hello. This isn't a private meeting is it?"

His eyebrow curves elegantly upwards as he saunters over.

"Uh…"

Remus decides to comment, "Padfoot, what do you think would happen if Lily went up and asked James out?"

I blanch and feel myself pale.

"REMUS! WHAT THE FUC –"

I continue forming words with my mouth but find myself silent. Remus has his wand out. I can not believe it! The traitor! He's silencioed me!

"Don't want you swearing in front of the ickle firsties, do we Lily-flower?" Sirius says.

There is no one in sight. I reply by crossing my arms in front of my chest and glaring. Hard.

Sirius laughs and then manages to place a serious look on his face before he answers Remus.

Part of me wants to slap him across the face but the other part of me is desperate to hear what he has to say.

"He would freeze in shock, then unfreeze after a minute when reality hits him, then he would probably do one of those horrible dance-jig things he does in celebration and then he would remember that he is in front of Lily and stop dancing and then there would be thirty seconds worth of uneasy conversation as a time and date is planned for the date and then the two would part their ways. James would smile non-stop for the next week."

He can not be serious.

"Surely he would just laugh and say no."

Volume comes out of my mouth; Remus must have unplaced the silencio curse when I calmed down.

Sirius looks me straight in the eye. "He's had a crush on you since about fourth year."

"A crush can't last for four years. He hasn't asked me out at all this year."

"Lily, how many times did you tell him to leave you alone?" Before I can squeeze in a comment Sirius continues, "of course he's still crazy about you; he's just doing what you said. He's trying to become friends with you so that you'll give him a chance. He's not just going to ask you straight out anymore."

"Oh."

Remus beckons Sirius to follow him.

"Bye, Lily," Remus says.

"Yeah, see you Lil. And think about what I've said. It's all true."

I can barely manage to speak so wave instead.

As if I wouldn't think about all of the things that Sirius had said.

Sirius and Remus leave the corridor and I walk into an empty classroom nearby, slide down against the wall and close my eyes, deep in thought.

- - - - - - - -

_I'll admit it: I'm a coward. Especially in relationships._

_I can barely tell my best friend that I think a guy is cute._

_I definitely can't tell a guy that I've fallen for him._

_I've always envied people who could just speak their feelings easily: they never consider the consequences of just letting it all out. They just take the risk._

_Perhaps that's the thing about me: I am most definitely not a risk taker._

- - - - - - - -

After ages of thinking that has gotten me nowhere, I stand up and make my way slowly back to the Gryffindor common room. Being out past curfew is not good for a Head Girl and although I have the fake-excuse of rounds, I don't want to talk to anyone.

I return to the mainly empty common room and see that Alice has already gone up to bed. I pull out a book from my book bag and sit in an armchair next to the fire and begin to read. James is sitting on the other side of the room reading a quidditch book and, try as I might, I just can't manage to concentrate on the trashy romance novel that I'm reading. An hour or so later, the common room is empty except for James and me. I try to read more, my goal being to beat page two, but my mind keeps drifting to him so I do the only think that I can think of doing. I close my book, stand up, and walk over to him.

"Hi James," I say.

He glances up at me, closes his book, stands up and smiles.

"What's up, Lily? How're you going?"

I decide that it's about time I just went for it and took the risk.

How many times had Alice, Sirius and Remus all said that I should just ask him out?

"Alright, but I could be better."

He raises an eyebrow and asks, "Anything I can do?"

I take a deep breath to stop myself from the possibility of hyperventilating.

"Uh... well, you see… I… well… I kind of… um…"

He sees that I'm struggling to articulate and rests his hand over my hand and squeezes it comfortingly.

Rather than clearing my mind and helping me speak, at the contact, I feel myself lose my head even more.

"Um… well…"

I can't believe this is happening.

Why can't I just ask him out?

It can't be that hard.

But his thumb has now started drawing circles on the inside of my wrist and it's becoming more and more difficult not to close my eyes and sigh.

"Would you um… would you… uh… go… um… out… would you…"

James's eyes seem to glitter all of a sudden. The green and gold specks seem to be glistening.

And then I see his lips.

Curved into a small smile, rather than the usual smirk.

And suddenly, I feel myself swallow up my insecurity, grab his tie and pull his lips down onto mine.

Sirius and Remus were both wrong on some account: James was not oblivious. There was no shock at all in his body language when he returned the kiss the second after I'd dragged his face down to my level. He seemed to know all along what was going on in my head.

His lips feel warm and perfect as they move slowly against mine.

His hands have moved; one is cupping my chin and the other is settled comfortably at my waist.

My stomach is permanently dropping and my skin is tingling as his hand touches my jaw and moves into my hair. My hands wrap around his neck and I feel myself sigh against his lips.

An unknowable period of time later, we break apart and, cradling my face in his palm, he pecks me on the lips before grinning broadly. I smile in return.

"So, Lily," he whispers. "What were you going to say before?"

My eyes widen and I stare at him in frozen shock.

Oh no, he does not expect me to ask him out after all that, does he?

"Would I what?" he asks, trying to prompt me.

He's actually serious.

"Uh, James, can't you just do it?" I plead.

He's smirking at me.

After all this, he's about to laugh.

My eyes are welling up with tears and although I cried earlier today, I just about _never_ cry.

Rage and anger unsuccessfully cover up how much hurt I feel.

"I can't believe you!"

"Lily, what - ?"

"You're going to laugh at me now, are you? Is it all a joke to you? Remus and Sirius told me you wouldn't laugh and I BELIEVED THEM! I AM ABSOLUTE IDIOT TO THINK THAT YOU COULD EVER ACTUALLY LIKE ME BACK –"

His mouth is on mine again and he's kissing me so furiously that my head starts to feel light. My legs are completely weak and it's only because his arms are fixed around my waist that I haven't fallen to the ground. Gradually, his short hard kisses become much slower until he breaks away and stares at me with such intensity and passion that I feel myself falling even harder for him. He removes one hand from my waist to gently rub away a few stray tears that managed to fall during my outburst.

"I was only teasing you," he says quietly. "You would not believe how long I've waited for you to like me. Trust me, it's been years. And you would not believe how long I've waited for you to admit it."

I don't reply but wait for him to continue.

"Lily, would you go out with me?"

A smile creeps onto my face but I still feel that I have to ask, "you are being serious, right? I know I've been horrible to you in the past and I understand if you don't like me anymore…"

I trail off and look at him hopefully.

"Lily, I'm head over heels in love with you. Will you go you with me?" He asks.

I smile widely and nod a 'yes'.

Sirius and Remus were right about one thing: James is definitely happy.

He promptly does a little jig before wrapping both his arms around my waist and twirling me around in a couple of circles. The smile on his face is contagious.

Sirius had predicted the dance but he was wrong about the awkward conversation.

James reveals his invisibility cloak and then leads me out of the common room and tells me he's taking me to the kitchens for hot chocolates, marshmallows and apple pie and ice-cream.

We begin walking, whispering about random topics, with his arm wrapped around my shoulders as we huddle under the invisibility cloak and my stomach growls at the thought of a delicious back up dinner to make up for my lost lasagna.

END

- - - - - - - -

**Woah. That was definitely the longest one shot I've ever written****…**

**When I started, it ****was only going to be short but then I kept writing more and more and I didn't want to have a chaptered story.**

**So, hope you liked it!!!**

**Have a look at my other LJ stories if you get a chance:**

_**-The key to apparition is CONCENTRATION**_

**WIP – currently four chapters**

_**-Honeydukes Chocolate: The Lily Evans Life Saver**_

**COMPLETE Oneshot**

_**-The Musings, Notes and Broken Resolutions of Lily and Co.**_

**WIP – currently four chapters**

_And please: SAY HI!!! And drop in a review!!!_


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